Love Yourself: Love Someone Else

Chane at the lake

An article from The High School Survival Guide

Every school has a girl like this. The one where she used to be your best friend. She was funny, spontaneous, secure in herself, and liked going out. And now she’s with a boyfriend and she’s a completely different person. She doesn’t even claim to like the same music. Even her dream job has changed. Suddenly she’s a clone of him. It’s sickening to watch, and it’s really unhealthy.

Girls like this can be really frustrating because often they’re so much fun when they’re single, but now you feel like you just don’t know them anymore. You want to grab them and yell ‘You were great how you were! Why change?!’.

Why change, indeed? The reason these girls mould to their boyfriends is because they’re insecure. They don’t believe they have anything to offer, and they’re obsessed with the idea that once their boyfriends discover who they really are, they’ll be bored and leave. So they change everything about themselves.

There’s not much you can do in a situation like this without putting your friendship at risk. You can gently remind your friend that she had plenty of friends while she was single, but go too straightforward and she’ll be really offended. What you can do, however, is learn a lesson.

If you don’t love yourself, nobody else can love you. These girls, 9 times out of 10, end up getting ditched by their boyfriends because the boy feels like it’s not a challenge, or that she’s not the girl he used to like. That’s the whole point: if they start dating you in the first place, they must like you as you are, so why change?

Hopefully she’ll realise she’s lost too many friends, and she’ll learn her own lesson. Meanwhile, you have to practise loving yourself and when you pick up an awesome guy that you can be yourself around, she’ll realise what she’s missing. And you’ll be really, truly happy. Does sacrificing everything you are sound like happiness? Hell no. Be yourself. The rest is easy.

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