When Friends Become Enemies

When Friends Become Enemies

An article from The High School Survival Guide

You were friends for life. You knew each other inside and out, you made jokes, you stuck up for one another in arguments. All of a sudden, she’s turned on you, and you don’t know why. So what happens when friends become enemies?

There are a million and one reasons for why. It could be that you’ve done something to offend her. She might just be having a bad day. Or she’s completely insane and she’s decided you’ve been trying to steal her boyfriend. Ultimately, when it comes to these situations, the reason doesn’t even matter. If she wants to be mad at you, she will be.

Talk About It

Not easy, but absolutely necessary—talk about it. If you know why she’s mad and you owe her an apology—give it to her. Have the courage to approach her at lunch and take her aside, say ‘I’m really sorry,’ and don’t make excuses. Nine times out of ten, you’ll be friends again within a week.

If you don’t know what you’ve done, or if you’ve just drifted apart, there are a few things you can do. You can try to make contact casually—such as a comment on Facebook about something else—and see how she responds, or you can give it some time and leave her to make up her own mind about whether or not she wants to be your friend.

When You’re the Enemy

If you’re just thoroughly sick of your friend, or you don’t think you can forgive her for what she did, you might choose to take some time. You’re allowed to do this—it can be difficult, but you’re within your rights to decide who you want as a friend. However, as someone you used to trust, she deserves an explanation as to why. Be clear about why you feel hurt, and give her the chance to apologise. Try not to be too nasty—when you want to be friends again, she might not feel the same way if you’ve been cruel! Just clearly state that she’s hurt your feelings and you need some time and space.

When You’re in the Same Group

It might make being in the same group awkward if you’re giving each other the silent treatment. Try not to drag your friends into it: no nasty gossip, and no ultimatums like ‘If she’s coming to your party, I’m not’! Respect that they have nothing to do with the argument, and keep them out of it.


Have you ever had a big fallout with a friend? How did you sort it out? Share your solutions in the comments below.

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